Democrats in Atlanta were shocked by the DNC’s decision to hold the 2024 presidential convention in Chicago. After all, the southern metropolis rejected Trump in 2020, and handed Democrats the Senate. But, that’s the old school logic of Bill Clinton and James Carville – and it’s hard to fault the dark arts that have made a silk purse out of a sow’s ear in the last three elections.
This ain’t your daddy’s Democrat party. Today’s DNC has to elect everything from a punch-drunk president (Biden) to a know-it-all senator (Warren), and represent a freak-show coalition of aggrieved voters. Plus, wussified liberals can’t stomach dissent or inquiring press. Thus, the wisdom of the pick should be obvious – up to ten good reasons (kinda-sorta) to party in the Windy City likes it’s 1968!
Reason 10. After the results of its last mayoral election, Chicago is clearly the “most Democrat” city in America. Numbers don’t lie: one Republican on the 17-seat Cook County Board of Commissioners, none on the 50-seat City Council, and the city has not elected a Republican mayor in 93 years.
Reason 9. After electing a new “even worse” mayor, Democrats owe tax payers a solid. Chicago residents have the highest effective state/local tax burden in the US, because of the second highest state/local sales tax (10.25%) and effective property tax (2.23%), on top of high income taxes. And Biden has to bail out his public-union cronies; Chicago’s $46 billion in unfunded pension liabilities are worse than 45 states.
Reason 8. Chicago needs the extra security. Its murder rate has jumped 39% since 2019 (25.8 per 100,000 residents in 2022); second among America’s ten most populous cities, and four times the national average. Convictions for violence are down almost 30% under Kim Foxx, local papers report horrible police retention and morale, and the city’s new mayor just said “defund the police [is] an actual political goal.” Those poor Secret Service agents.
Reason 7. The Obamas are still in charge, and Biden still owes them. Think about it. Blacks are still mad at Mayor Rahm Emanuel (Obama’s chief of staff) from 2014, when he sealed police video of Laquan McDonald’s murder, and guess whose neighborhood is a mess because Obama’s presidential library is still under construction?
Reason 6. Chicago promised the DNC traffic would not be a problem – and why not? Chicago is losing residents in a hurry – down 900,000 since 1968. And, should the President get stuck in traffic, he can count the Republican voters leaving town and enjoy the pretty scenes of America that U-Haul sticks on its trailers.
Reason 5. Somebody leaked the President’s draft announcement, in which he wrote Chicago was a “great choice” for a convention because of its midwest location, and because it truly illustrates the “historic progress” made in America under his administration. No joke (he just said it).
Reason 4. Chicago is so corrupt, the Biden family will look saintly in comparison. There were 22 convictions for public corruption in 2020 and 26 the year before. For the third year in a row, the University of Illinois at Chicago reports its home is “America’s most corrupt city” (and Illinois is the third-most corrupt state).
Reason 3. Illinois’s governor personally made the pitch, and Biden figured there had to be all-you-can-eat ice cream bars at each of Pritzker’s Hyatt hotels, while the DNC wanted to prove it opposes body-shaming. Above all, Jill wanted to slap some Aviators on Joe, stand Pritzker beside him, and – Voila! – her 82-year-old husband would look like Top Gun Maverick on television.
Reason 2. Speaking of Jill, she’s always wanted Joe to visit Northwestern University’s top-rated Mesulam Center for Cognitive Neurology and Alzheimer’s Disease. No joke, and despite Delaware pitching its beautiful basements and high-speed internet, Jill told Joe not to remind young voters how bad life was under Democrat COVID lockdowns. Nice try, but what the heck – there’ll be an open bar!
Reason 1. President Biden has his heart set on a video montage portraying him as a sixties activist, culminating with him amongst the communists and hippies battling Chicago’s police in 1968. Thanks to AI and CGI, the video will prove Joe marched in Selma, punched out CornPop, and protested the war in Vietnam. Name a better stage than Chicago to present such a hoax. I can’t.
Didn’t Jussie Smollett prove the local press will believe anything? Haven’t union teachers rendered the city’s youth reliably gullible (80% can’t read at grade level and 85% aren’t proficient in math)? The last thing Joe Biden wants is a bunch of curious reporters and youthful cynics tweeting that he was NOT in jail with Nelson Mandela.
The Skinny. Holding the convention in Chicago proves the DNC knows it’s got the 2024 election in the bag. Let the GOP go on about falling standards of living, rising crime, and woke educators (a local Democrat will be changing election laws and filling out senile grandmas’ ballots). Going to Chicago is just the DNC’s way of having Christmas come early. Four more years! Four more years!
Meanwhile in Milwaukee, the RNC will be selling a New and Improved Trump (I hope I’m wrong).
