Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to talk like Kamala. Let ’em speak English or Spanish or such.
Me (on behalf of English-speakers everywhere)
It’s too close to New Year’s for anything serious – and nothing’s funnier than Vice President Harris trying to construct a sentence. OK, Joe Biden trying to ride a bike – but he’s not 58 years old. He also did not lead the debate team at Howard University or serve as a district attorney for 27 years. Joe’s just old, but what’s Kamala’s excuse? Hard to say, but she keeps us laughing. Here’s a chronology of her 10 biggest gaffes in 2022.
January 13 – touting Biden’s COVID strategy on the Today Show. “It is time for us to do what we have been doing. And that time is every day. Every day it is time for us to agree that there are things and tools that are available to us to slow this thing down.” Like move to Florida, where a Republican’s in charge.
February 28 – extolling the nomination of Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson at the White House. “Elections matter. And when folks vote, they order what they want – and in this case they got what they asked for. I went off script a little bit.” She’s been reading from a script? Now I’m really scared.
March 1 – explaining the War in Ukraine to the Morning Hustle’s co-host Headkrack. “So, Ukraine is a country in Europe. It exists next to another country called Russia. Russia is a bigger country. Russia is a powerful country. Russia decided to invade a smaller country called Ukraine. So, basically, that’s wrong, and it goes against everything that we stand for.” Thank God Headkrack did not ask her how to fix his golf slice.
March 10 – explaining the War in Ukraine to a Polish audience. “But we all watched the television coverage of just yesterday. That’s on top of everything else that we know and don’t know yet, based on what we’ve just been able to see. And because we’ve seen it or not doesn’t mean it hasn’t happened.” Like Biden’s boasts – what we know and have seen doesn’t mean they didn’t happen.
March 21 – touting high-speed internet to a Louisiana audience. “The significance of the passage of time, right? The significance of the passage of time. So when you think about it, there is great significance to the passage of time.” That one will make sense, if you take another bong hit.
March 30 – honoring Jamaican PM Andrew Holness at the White House. “For Jamaica, one of the issues that has been presented as an issue is economic in the way of its impact has been the pandemic. So to that end, we are announcing today also that we will assist Jamaica in COVID recovery by assisting in terms of the recovery efforts in Jamaica that have been essential to, I believe, what is necessary to strengthen not only the issue of public health but also the economy.” Help me help you, Andrew.
May 14 – describing Biden’s climate action plan. “We must together. Work together. To see where we are, where we are headed, where we are going, and our vision for where we should be. But also see it as a moment to, yes. Together, address the challenges and to work on the opportunities that are presented by this moment.” Whatever we’re doing, one thing’s for sure. We’re doing it together!
July 5 – consoling an audience after the Highland Park shootings. “We’ve got to take this stuff seriously, as seriously as you are because you have been forced to take this seriously.” Seriously, you were a district attorney for 27 years and that’s your take? Hope she didn’t giggle.
July 26 – opening comments at a reproductive rights for the disabled roundtable. “I am Kamala Harris, my pronouns are ‘she’ and ‘her.’ I am a woman sitting at the table wearing a blue suit.” Kinda guessing folks invited to this roundtable didn’t care about the Vice President’s pronouns or suit color.
September 20 – touting Biden’s economic policies to a South Carolina audience. “We invested an additional $12 billion into community banks, because we know community banks are in the community, and understand the needs and desires of that community as well as the talent and capacity of community.” Yes, and country roads are in the country, city streets are in the city, and space ships travel – where, Kamala? No? Anybody? Anybody?
How’s it possible that Harris got past Biden’s handlers and onto the 2020 ticket? I had no idea until Ron DeSantis explained her real purpose: “I thought Biden picking her was the worst decision ever because she’s not great. But she’s like the best impeachment insurance and 25th Amendment insurance anyone could have. No matter how bad old Joe is, nobody wants Kamala!”
And there you have it – at least for two more years. Yikes!
